SCENE 1

Two footmen help Bertie into a uniform jacket, ablaze with medals, gold braid, tassels and epaulettes, As a finishing touch, they place a trio-corner hat

topped with white ostrich feathers on his head.

BERTIE

(looking in the mirror) I look like a Christmas tree.

SCENE 2

Wembley Stadium, it is raining. Bertie stands CS, looking lost and forlorn.

He is joined  by his wife.

ELIZABETH

Buck up, Bertie.

A BBC microphone comes into view.

BBC NEWS READER

Good afternoon. This is the BBC National Closing Ceremony of the Empire Exhibition directly from Wembley Stadium.

Honouring us with his Royal Presence is His Majesty, King George V.

our Prime Minister, the Honourable Stanley Baldwin, and the Chancellor of the Exchequer, the Honourable Winston Churchill.

Today's Closing Address will be given by Albert the Duke of York.

This is his first wireless broadcast to the Nation and the World.

KING GEORGE V

Ten million people listening, son. I wouldn't miss your maiden voyage for anything.

Get on with it, boy! Show them what you're made of!

Bertie steps forward.

BERTIE

Lords, ladies, gentlemen. No doubt you wish the P-p-p-prince...

[#SOUND: s02-02-crowd-laughter]

[Cue on stutter, plays through Bertie's speech, stop when scene ends after King George speaks]

There's a slight titter from the crowd.

Prince of Wales was standing before you today. Be that as it may... my brother D-d-d-david is attending to other d-d-duties in the furthest parts of this vast Empire...

He can't go on. In his mortification he turns to his father.

KING GEORGE V

(to Elizabeth) He needs more practice.

SCENE 3

At the Logues' house. Elizabeth enters, waits, coughs. Coughs again.

Finally she calls out.

ELIZABETH

Anyone here?

LIONEL

 (from offstage) In the lav.

[#SOUND: s03-01-flush-wash]

[Cue on “in the Lav”, pause after 8secs (water runs), Lionel enters on audio end, end early if he comes on stage sooner]

Gurgling of a toilet being flushed is heard offstage. Water is being run.

Lionel enters.

„How poor are they that have not patience!

What wound did ever heal but by degrees?“

ELIZABETH

I beg your pardon?

LIONEL

Iago. World's greatest villain. Sorry, no receptionist. Waste of money.

He offers to shake hands. She doesn't.

ELIZABETH

I'd be more comfortable in your office.

LIONEL

That's for clients. Where's Mister J?

ELIZABETH

Doesn't know I'm here.

LIONEL

That's a promising start.

ELIZABETH

You were recommended as a last resort. My husband's seen everyone. They were useless. He's given up hope.

LIONEL

He hasn't seen me.

ELIZABETH

You're rather sure of yourself.

LIONEL

I'm sure of anyone who wants to be cured.

ELIZABETH

Of course, my husband wishes to be cured! His position requires public speaking. A torment for both speaker and audience.

LIONEL

He should change jobs.

ELIZABETH

That's not permitted.

LIONEL

Indentured servitude?

ELIZABETH

In a manner of speaking.

LIONEL

I thought that was banned.

ELIZABETH

Not in his case.

LIONEL

Alright, Mrs Johnson, have your hubby pop in and give his personal history. I'll make a frank appraisal.

ELIZABETH

I do not have a 'hubby'.

We never talk about our private lives. Nor do we 'pop'.

You must come to us.

LIONEL

Sorry. My game, my turf, my rules.

Elizabeth lifts her veil.

ELIZABETH

Perhaps you'll make an exception?

Lionel recognizes her, but doesn't change his tone.

LIONEL

I thought the appointment was for 'Johnson'?

ELIZABETH

Used during the Great War, when the Navy didn't want the enemy to know 'HE' was aboard.

LIONEL

I'm considered the enemy?

ELIZABETH

You will be, should you continue to be disobliging.

LIONEL

Sorry, no exceptions.

ELIZABETH

In which case...

Elizabeth lowers her veil again.

I've wasted your time. And mine.

She exits.

LIONEL

Bloody hell, I buggered that.

Myrtle enters.

MYRTLE

Ready for tea.

LIONEL

Hmmm. I smell kedgeree.

Had a visit from a lady just now.

MYRTLE

I don't wonder. You're so good at what you do.

LIONEL

At what I do.

'Twas a lady with a capital L.

MYRTLE

Oh. High and mighty. We wouldn't want that, would we, Lionel?

Although the money would help get us home.

Can't be too careful.

LIONEL

She won't be back. I told the spoilt silly I was fully booked. She was disappointed of course.

MYRTLE

Of course. Hard to feel sorry for that sort though.

LIONEL

I have a call tomorrow. Wish me luck.

MYRTLE

Of course, Lionel. Load and loads.

SCENE 4

The King's study, Buckingham Palace.

The King and Queen, Bertie and Elizabeth.

Footmen set up a microphone.

The King is in naval uniform, Bertie in street clothes.

ELIZABETH

Will she be here?

BERTIE

I suppose.

ELIZABETH

Seriously?

BERTIE

Seriously, she'll be at dinner.

ELIZABETH

Is David serious?

BERTIE

About what?

ELIZABETH

About her!

BERTIE

A married American? Twice divorced? He can't be.

ELIZABETH

She can.

The King calls Bertie to his side.

KING GEORGE V

Stride boldly up to the bloody thing! Stare it square in the eye and speak to it as you would to any decent Englishman. Show who is in command.

BERTIE

I d-d-don't thu-thu-think I c-c-can.

KING GEORGE V

If you don't, this devilish device will change everything. We were bred to be profiles on a coin; all a King had to do was look smart in uniform and not fall off his horse. No one got close enough to hear us speak. Now we must creep, cap in hand into people's homes, that smell of boiled cabbage, and talk nicely to them. We're reduced to that lowest, basest of all creatures... we've become... actors! Don't give me your look of defeated pathos. This is a family crisis!

BERTIE

Father, we are not a family, we're a firm.

KING GEORGE V

We're the oldest, most successful corporation in the world, and sitting on thrones is our business. But any moment now we may be out of work. Your brother came to us the other day, livid a certain lady has been refused an invitation to my Silver Jubilee. I pointed out she wasn't a lady and most definitely wasn't his wife.

BERTIE

What did David say?

KING GEORGE V

He said: she makes him sublimely happy.

I said: that was undoubtedly because she was sleeping with him.

“I give you my word we've never had immoral relations”.

“As my son, my heir, as Prince of Wales, do you solemnly swear your friendship with this woman is an absolutely clean one?“

“I do,“ he said.

“Look me in the eye,“ I demanded. “On my honour,“ he replied.

He stared straight into his father's eyes... and lied.

BERTIE

groans

KING GEORGE V

When I die, that boy will ruin himself, this family, and this nation, within 12 months. Who'll pick up the pieces?

David's friend, Oswald Mosley? His black-shirt British Union of Fascists are marching through the streets of London. Hitler is terrorizing half of Europe, Stalin the other half. Who'll stand between us, the jackboots, and the proletarian abyss? You?

A red light on the microphone starts blinking.

BERTIE

What are you going to say?

KING GEORGE V

The usual guff. Rudyard Kipling writes it and my people love to hear me say it. Spoken fluently, of course.

You'll have to pull yourself together, son. With your brother bedding his American whore you'll be doing a lot more of this.

BBC NEWS READER

Good evening, this is the BBC, broadcasting from Buckingham Palace upon the occasion of the Royal Silver Jubilee. His Majesty: King George the Fifth

KING GEORGE V

I can only say to you, my very, very dear people, that the Queen and I thank you from the depths of our hearts for all the loyalty and – may I say so – the love with which this day and always, you have surrounded us.

Indication that he speaks for a while.

BERTIE

(to Elizabeth) Is this why you're sending me to another bloody charlatan speech therapist? You promised, there'd be no more of them!

ELIZABETH

Didn't you hear what your father just said?

BERTIE

Why doesn't he understand - I can't do it! You talk to him. He adores you.

ELIZABETH

Bertie, this isn't about you and your father. Things are changing, everywhere. We're going to need help. This man might be the one to help you.

BERTIE

How many bloody times do I have to hear that? I've seen them all! No one can fix it.

ELIZABETH

He might! Please – just try. For both of us.

BERTIE

Any port in a storm, eh?

King George V is wrapping up.

KING GEORGE V

I dedicate myself anew to your service for all the years that may still be given to me.

The King steps towards the balcony.

Beckoning to the others to  join him.

Come join the fun!

BERTIE

They didn't come to see me, father. They came to see you, mother, and David.

KING GEORGE V

Pretend.

[#SOUND: s04-01-clapping-crowd]

[Cue on just before “Pretend”, audio plays into lights out]

All  wave to great applause.

SCENE 5

Logue's waiting room

ELIZABETH

(whispers) There's no receptionist.

BERTIE

Is this really necessary?

ELIZABETH

You know perfectly well it is.

She is obviously concerned that Lionel might come from the toilet again.

(loudly) The Johnsons.

LIONEL

(from offstage) Not finished yet.

She is obviously relieved that his voice comes from a different room than last time.

BERTIE

However did you find this physician?

ELIZABETH

Classifieds. Next to 'Saucy model, Shepherd's Market'.

He comes highly recommended. Charges a substantial fee in order to offer help to the poor.

Oh dear, perhaps he's a Bolshevik!

BERTIE

I'm not sure I want to see this fellow.

ELIZABETH

I'm not sure, he wants to see you.

LIONEL

(from offstage) Just gluing a strut. Mr Johnson, do come in.

Bertie enters Logue's consultation room.

He bumps into a chair, trying to avoid a model air plane.

LIONEL

Sorry. My hobby. Make yourself comfortable.

Logue extends his hand in welcome. Instead of shaking it, Bertie hands him his hat.

BERTIE

Please... not too close. Five paces is the rule.

LIONEL

Might be difficult in this office.

Bertie perches on a chair.

Your wife changed her mind. Why?

BERTIE

Can't discuss that.

LIONEL

What can we discuss?

BERTIE

When speaking with a Royal, the Royal chooses the topic and begins the conversation.

LIONEL

You're joking.

BERTIE

I admit if one waits for me to start a conversation one can wait a rather long time.

Silence, as they stare at one another.

You call this making me comfortable? Aren't you interested in treating me?

LIONEL

Only if you're interested in being treated.

Silence.

Cuppa tea?

BERTIE

No, thank you .

LIONEL

Any idea what you're letting yourself in for?

BERTIE

A great deal of rudeness, it would appear, Doctor Logue..

LIONEL

Lionel.

BERTIE

I prefer doctor.

LIONEL

I prefer Lionel. My family calls me far worse. What shall I call you?

BERTIE

Your Royal Highness.

LIONEL

Oh, please.

BERTIE

Sir, after that.

LIONEL

Much more informal.

BERTIE

Prince Albert Frederick Arthur George? I've lots of names to choose from.

LIONEL

How about Bertie?

BERTIE

Only my family uses that.

LIONEL

That's what I'll call you then. We must be true equals.

BERTIE

If we were equal, I wouldn't be here, I'd be at home with my family and no one would give a damn.

Gets out a silver case of cigarettes and starts to take one out.

LIONEL

Mustn't do that.

Sucking smoke into your lungs will kill you.

BERTIE

My physicians says it relaxes the throat.

LIONEL

They're idiots.

BERTIE

They've all been knighted.

LIONEL

Makes it official then. My castle, my rules. What's your earliest memory?

BERTIE

Beg your pardon?

LIONEL

First recollection?

BERTIE

I-I-I'm not here to d-d-discuss p-p-personal m-m-matters.

LIONEL

Why are you here then?

BERTIE

(exploding) Because I bloody well stammer!

LIONEL

Temper.

BERTIE

One of my many faults.

LIONEL

Care to enumerate?

Pause.

Well then, do you stammer when you think?

BERTIE

Don't be ridiculous.

LIONEL

Do you stammer when you talk to yourself?

BERTIE

I don't talk to myself!

LIONEL

Everyone natters to themselves once in a while, Bertie.

BERTIE

Stop calling me that!

LIONEL

I won't call you anything else.

BERTIE

Then we won't speak!

Pause

Must I pay for this?

LIONEL

Loads.

Now... when talking to yourself, do you stammer?

BERTIE

Of course not!

LIONEL

...proving your impediment isn't a permanent internal fixture.

BERTIE

When I give a speech … or speak to anyone other than my wife... I BLOODY WELL STAMMER!!!

LIONEL

Bet you a bob you can read flawlessly, right here, right now.

BERTIE

You're on.

LIONEL

Let's see your shilling.

BERTIE

Royals don't carry cash.

LIONEL

How convenient.

Logue gets a shilling out and puts it on the table.

I'll stake you then. Pay me next time.

BERTIE

If there is a next time.

LIONEL

True. I haven't agreed to take you on.

During this Lionel has uncovered a recording device with earphones,

He sets a blank disc onto the turntable and positions a microphone,
then hands Bertie an open book..

BERTIE

I certainly can't read the bard.

LIONEL

We have a bet.

BERTIE

(reads stammering badly and getting worse) “To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether it is wiser...“ There!

Bertie closes the book and reaches for the coin.

LIONEL

Not so fast.

BERTIE

I can't read.

LIONEL

We haven't finished.

He hands Bertie a pair of padded earphones.

Bertie doesn't want to take them.

 A princely bob is at stake.

[#SOUND: s05-01-ravels-bolero]

[Cue on Bertie wearing the headphones. Mute audio manually (no stopping) whenever headphones are taken off, audio is played until end and stops organically]

Bertie reluctantly puts them on.

Logue turns a dial. Music is heard.

BERTIE

You're playing music.

LIONEL

I know.

BERTIE

How can I hear what I'm saying?

LIONEL

Surely, a Royal prince's brain knows what its mouth is doing?

BERTIE

You're not well acquainted with Royal princes, are you?

LIONEL

I intend to demonstrate that when you can't hear your voice, you don't stammer, thus proving your impediment is not innate.

BERTIE

Rubbish.

Bertie replaces the earphones and starts to read, while Lionel turns the dial, as the volume of music increases, it drowns out Bertie's voice.

His lips move, but it's impossible to hear his voice over the music.

Finally, he throws the book down, takes off the earphones and reaches for the coin.

Told you, I can't!

LIONEL

(snatching the shilling) Sublime.

Bertie glares at him.

Would I lie to a prince of the realm to win twelve pence?

BERTIE

I've no idea what an Australian might do for that sort of money.

He gets ready to leave (coat, hat)

This is definitely not for me.

Logue puts the record in a paper dust jacket and hands it to Bertie.

LIONEL

Souvenir. Our first and presumably last encounter.

HMV. His Master's Voice.

SCENE 6

Sound of an air plane engine slowing down is heard.

Bertie in a coat is waiting

David enters with a dramatic flourish, removing his leather helmet and goggles

DAVID

Huh-huh-hello, B-b-bertie. B-b-been waiting luh-lu-long?

BERTIE

Three days. Where've you b-b-b...

DAVID

Been?

I was busy.

BERTIE

S-s-so was I. Elizabeth has nuh-nuh-pneumonia.

DAVID

She'll recover.

BERTIE

Father won't.

DAVID

The old bugger's doing this on purpose.

BERTIE

D-D-dying?

DAVID

Trying, as an act of pure spite, to depart prematurely in order to complicate matters. Wallis explained it. She's terribly clever.

Better go see the old sod.

SCENE 7

A drum roll is heard. Funereal bagpipes wail.

LANG

Whereas it has pleased Almighty God to call to his mercy our late Sovereign, King George the Fifth of blessed and glorious memory, that the High and Mighty Prince Edward Albert Christian George Andrew Patrick David is now our own lawful King.

The plaintive wail of pipes and ominous drum-rolls grow louder and louder.

Then it suddenly stops. Silence.

Lang, Churchill and Baldwin move into a pool of light.

LANG

Oh, bloody hell.

CHURCHILL

A bad omen, Your Grace?

LANG

Don't be disingenuous For our late King's crown to fall from his coffin is not a fortuitous portent.

BALDWIN

Whatever's going to happen next?

LANG

That might well be the motto of the new Reign.

BALDWIN

But will there actually be a 'new Reign'?

CHURCHILL

Prime Minister, Your Grace... I'm shocked by the implication.

BALDWIN

You don't look it. Surely, you must have noticed Winston, even from the backbenches to which you have been exiled, and where you now so splendidly languish, our populace has no objection to Royal fornication, but will never tolerate adultery.

LANG

And since we cannot acquire a new populace...

BALDWIN

Perhaps we need a new King?

CHURCHILL

Now I am doubly shocked.

BALDWIN

His Grace isn't.

LANG

My function requires me to appear serene at all times.

BALDWIN

That may be difficult to maintain.

CHURCHILL

The King is our king! You cannot remove him.

BALDWIN

But should he refuse to listen to the advice of his government, he may have to remove himself.

CHURCHILL

Abdication? Never has that happened in the history of this great land.

LANG

Always a first time.

BALDWIN

A shocking concept, Winston, but one we might need to accept.

LANG

You, more than others, realize we'll soon be under siege from the forces of darkness. Who would you suggest to rally the troops, the nation, the Empire, the world?

CHURCHILL

Our rightful King! Would you prefer a man who cannot speak? Hitler mesmerises millions, whilst the Duke of York cannot successfully order fish and chips.

LANG

There's always the next in line.

CHURCHILL

A bi-sexual former drug-addict? The Church, to say nothing of the moralistic populace, will adore that.

LANG

The youngest perhaps?

BALDWIN

Ah, now, there's true dimness, unburdened with brain.

CHURCHILL

Thus, we're left with David, the born heir, who speaks beautifully, even if he talks nonsense. Come, gentlemen, let us bury one King before you attempt to bring another to his knees

SCENE 8

Bertie's study. Night.

BERTIE

Father warned me: David would make a mess of things.

ELIZABETH

What'll you do?

BERTIE

What can I do? I'm not capable of saying or doing anything!

He notices the recording Logue made and gave him.

Wants to smash it, then reconsiders and throws it in a waste paper basket.

“His Master's Voice“! I don't want this bloody thing!

ELIZABETH

Bertie...

BERTIE

Want to hear it?

ELIZABETH

Not particularly.

BERTIE

Well, I think you should. You'll see what a fraud that man was! Telling me I could read flawlessly. Lying bastard!

He gets the record from the trash and puts it on a Victrola, places the needle on the record, and hears a progressively flawless and flowing rendering

[#SOUND: s08-01-hamlet-recording-stuck-needle]

[Cue on "flawlessly" when Bertie says "Telling me I could read flawlessly" - then begin, audio is played until end or until lights are out.

Keep in mind scene ends after this so prepare to start the closing hitler speech]

„To be or not to be, - that is the question:

whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them?“

The needle sticks...

“,,, sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them?

,,, sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them?

,,, sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them?...“

… until Bertie lifts it. He and Elizabeth look at each other. Lights.

Roar of a huge crowd is heard, then rising above the roar whipping it into even greater frenzy, we recognize the voice as Hitler's.

SCENE 9

Lionel's Consulting room.

Lionel is sitting at his desk, working on a model air plane

Doorbell rings.

Bertie enters, wearing a black armband.

BERTIE

Doctor Logue?

Lionel lets him in. He's smiling.

LIONEL

I didn't expect you here.

Sorry about your father.

BERTIE

I didn't expect to be here. May I come in?

LIONEL

Myrtle wouldn't think that's a good idea.

BERTIE

Myrtle? Who's Myrtle?

LIONEL

My wife.

BERTIE

Myrtle's never met me. I've never met Myrtle. May we discuss this in private?

Lionel lets him enter.

BERTIE

What's your wife got to do with this? Elizabeth doesn't much care for you – you're far too familiar – but here I am.

LIONEL

You look dreadful.

BERTIE

Exactly the sort of thing you don't say to a Royal.

LIONEL

You're not a Royal in this room.

BERTIE

Precisely why Elizabeth dislikes you.

He starts to sit.

LIONEL

Not there!

Too late. Bertie has smashed a model air plane sitting between the cushions.

Curtis bi-plane, now a Curtis mono-wing.

BERTIE

I say, I'm terribly sorry. I'll buy a new one.

LIONEL

You don't have any money. I'll fix it.

(Pause)

So...? I'm sure you didn't come here to talk about our wives.

Pause.

BERTIE

He was propped up in bed, wrapped in his favourite faded Tibetan dressing gown, hooked up to an oxygen tank. He could barely make his mark on the Instruments of Succession.

LIONEL

Tea?

BERTIE

No, thank you.

LIONEL

Whiskey?

BERTIE

I was hoping you'd ask.

LIONEL

My dad lay rigid, fists clenched angrily at his sides, daring the Reaper: take me, you bastard!

BERTIE

What was he angry about?

LIONEL

I was a great disappointment.

BERTIE

Oh! I thought he might be proud of you.

LIONEL

So did I.

BERTIE

A man of stature?

LIONEL

A brewer.

BERTIE

Oh.

LIONEL

At least there was...

BERTIE

… free beer.

LIONEL

Cheers.

BERTIE

I was informed, after the fact, my father's last words were: “Bertie has more guts than the rest of his brothers put together.“

(Pause.)

Couldn't say that to my face.

(Pause.)

Father's secretary requested permission to order the coffin.

(Pause.)

He and Doctor Dawson alerted The Times to hold the morning edition. They didn't want the news delivered by the disputable afternoon press.

(Pause.)

Then the Archbishop of Canterbury arrived. Uninvited. David wanted to invite him to leave, but the others felt Dr. Lang was too dangerous to cross. Time was running out, if the King didn't depart on schedule, we'd miss the morning edition. Permission was requested for a 'peaceful termination'.

LIONEL

It was given?

Bertie nods.

By you?

BERTIE

I am not the next king.

Pause.

Three quarters of a gram of morphia and a gram of cocaine was injected into the distended jugular vein. The nurse objected and was asked to leave. The moment of death was given as 11:55 pm, broadcast at 12:15 am, and, as you saw, made the front page of the London Times perfectly on schedule.

Mother took David's hand, and kissed it in homage to the new King. But the look in her eyes.... ghastly.

(Blurts) My bloody brother! That's why I'm here!

LIONEL

What's he done?

BERTIE

Can't say.

LIONEL

Then I guess we're done here.

BERTIE

You must understand, I can't puh-puh-puh....

LIONEL

Try singing it.

BERTIE

Pardon?

LIONEL

Know any songs?

Another whiskey?

BERTIE

Songs? Yes. 'Swanee River'.

LIONEL

Very modern.

BERTIE

Happens to be my favourite That was yes to the Whiskey.

LIONEL

Sing it.

BERTIE

Certainly not.

Picks up model air plane

May I? I always wanted to build models. Father wouldn't allow it. I had to collect stamps. HE collected stamps.

LIONEL

Only if you sing. Goes like this...

(Sings) 'Way down upon the ...'

BERTIE

I know the words!

(Sings) 'Way down upon the Swanee River...'

Etcetera.

LIONEL

You didn't stammer.

BERTIE

Of course, I didn't stammer, I was singing! One doesn't stammer when one sings.

(Realization) Oh...

Well, I can't waltz around warbling.

LIONEL

You can with me.

BERTIE

Because you're peculiar.

LIONEL

I'll take that as a compliment.

Cut some struts from the balsa. Sorry, hard to show you what to do at five paces.

You were about to sing an aria concerning your brother.

BERTIE

I'm not crooning about David to the tune of 'Swanee River'!

LIONEL

Try 'Compton Races' then.

(sings) My brother David said to me, doo-dah, doo-dah...“,

That sort of thing.

BERTIE

(Talk-singing) I can't talk, or sing, about your future King, doo-dah, doo-dah...

LIONEL

My future King? He's your future King, too.  Did that cause friction? Knowing he'd grow up to be King, but you wouldn't?

BERTIE

Certainly not! I've always looked up to David. To tell the truth...

LIONEL

Always preferable.

(referring to the plane) Cover it with tissue.

BERTIE

It was a relief. Knowing I wouldn't be King.

LIONEL

Why's that?

Lionel pours them both another whiskey.

BERTIE

I wouldn't have to give speeches!

Bertie gets out his cigarette case.

LIONEL

No smoking! - What's your age difference?

BERTIE

18 months.

LIONEL

But for 18 months you would've been King?

BERTIE

We didn't think about it that way, doctor. (sings) Doo-dah, doo-dah.

David and I were very close.

LIONEL

As you said: 18 months.

BERTIE

As brothers! Young bucks... you know...

LIONEL

Did you chase the same girls?

Bertie is silent.

Princess Elizabeth?

BERTIE

(flares) What an extraordinarily rude thing to say!

(quickly regains control) David did try to be her beau at one point. Before I met her. She wouldn't have him. Not like my father... He and his brother, when they were young, kept a girl in St. John's Wood and shared her on alternate nights.

Uncomfortable silence. He's said too much.

LIONEL

Now dope the other wing.

Did David tease you?

BERTIE

They all did. „Buh-bu-buh-buh-Bertie“. Father encouraged it. „S-s-s-s-spit it out, boy!“ Thought it would make me stop.

Is this necessary?

LIONEL

Otherwise the paint will eat through the tissue.

BERTIE

I meant the damn questions!

LIONEL

Mandatory. When did the defect start?

BERTIE

I've always been this way.

LIONEL

No, you haven't.

BERTIE

Don't tell me. It's my defect!

LIONEL

It's my field. I assure you, no infant starts to speak with a stammer. When did yours start?

BERTIE

(annoyed) Four or five.

LIONEL

That's typical.

BERTIE

So I've been told. - I can't remember not doing it.

LIONEL

That I believe.

BERTIE

(stammer growing in intensity) Let's stick to medical history if you don't mind.

Lionel watches Bertie work on the model.

LIONEL

Are you naturally right-handed?

BERTIE

I am naturally left-handed. That was unacceptable.

LIONEL

And?

BERTIE

I was punished. Now I'm right-handed.

LIONEL

What else?

BERTIE

Bandy legs.

(Pause)

Metal splints were made … worn night and day... quite painful. Now I have straight legs.

LIONEL

Anything else I should know about your storybook childhood? Medically?

BERTIE

My first nanny was mentally disturbed. When presenting me for daily parental viewings, she'd p-p-p-p-p-p-

(sings) '...pinch me so I'd cry and be sent back to her at once...'

(speaks)  … upon the Swanee river.

She didn't feed me so I'd cry more easily. It took three years for my parents to notice. I still have recurring gastric problems.

LIONEL

Any serious maladies in the immediate family?

BERTIE

My fourth brother … You didn't know? Johnnie. Sweet boy. Died aged 14, hidden from view. Epilepsy was the official diagnosis, In truth he was … „special“.

I don't believe it's catching.

LIONEL

Nor is stuttering.

BERTIE

Purely my fault, is it?

LIONEL

Care to accept responsibility?

Bertie looks at him, stunned.

There's nothing physically wrong with you.

BERTIE

(Irritated) It's all mental? Well, there's no fixing that! Mad King George all over again,

(stops) Oh, this is so... tawdry!

I need your services as a Speech Therapist, not Grand Inquisitor. Are you available, or will it be: 'Myrtle says no'?

LIONEL

You're angry.

BERTIE

I told you, I have a temper.

LIONEL

Angry at me or at your brother?

Stubborn silence.

BERTIE

(Blurts out) He's fallen in love!

LIONEL

It happens.

BERTIE

With the wrong sort of woman!

LIONEL

What's the matter with her?

BERTIE

She's American.

LIONEL

Some of them must be lovable.

BERTIE

This one's been married. Twice. Mrs. Wallis Simpson of Baltimore. I want David to be happy, but the family, the Church, the entire nation... They won't have it.

LIONEL

Can't the happy couple fornicate privately like adults?

BERTIE

If only! David used to prefer married women because there was no possible attachment. But now...

LIONEL

'Queen Wallis of Baltimore'?

BERTIE

Please.

LIONEL

Does sound a bit iffy.

BERTIE

I made a smudge!

LIONEL

Touch it up.

BERTIE

Will you or won't you help me? Or do you want me to beg?

LIONEL

Never beg. Especially if you might be King.

BERTIE

Don't ever say that!

LIONEL

For reasons you cannot disclose, fearing ramifications you will not explain, you feel sufficiently anxious to embark upon a course of therapy in which you have no faith?

Bertie takes a coin out of his pocket.

BERTIE

Your shilling. You won it fair and square. I'll pay you generously.

Lionel pockets the coin.

LIONEL

I'll continue to ask questions.

BERTIE

That's what I'm afraid of.

LIONEL

(of the plane) Nice job. I'll finish it off.

He glances at his watch.

BERTIE

You've someone waiting?

LIONEL

I do now.

BERTIE

I'd apologize to them in person, but...

LIONEL

You don't wish to be seen? Slip out the back way.

BERTIE

It may become increasingly difficult to remain unobserved.

LIONEL

(writes down an address) We live in South Kensington, small apartment, no one will notice you.

And, lots of planes.

BERTIE

You know, Lionel, you're the first ordinary Englishman...

LIONEL

Australian.

BERTIE

… I've ever really talked to. Sometimes when I ride through the streets and see a 'bloke', the 'common man', I'm struck by how little I know of his life, and how little he knows of mine.

As Bertie is about to leave...

LIONEL

And bring the duchess. She might be helpful.

BERTIE

(on the way out) How will Myrtle take that?

LIONEL

She'll be at work. Saving for tickets. Wants us to return home.

BERTIE

(truly worried) You're not going?

LIONEL

(beat) No.

Bertie smiles in relief. Exits.

LIONEL

Sorry, Myrtle, dear.

Lionel exits.

Lights go down. There's a small light. We again hear A Nazi rally with chants of

“Sieg Heil“,  then another Hitler speech.

SCENE 10

Gradually, the lights come up and reveal that the light we first saw is the illuminated dial of a radio, listened to by Churchill and Baldwin.

CHURCHILL

Listen to him.

BALDWIN

Listen to THEM.

CURCHILL

Turn that devil off!

Baldwin turns the radio off.

If only one could do so in real life.

BALDWIN

Chamberlain thinks Chancellor Hitler can be talked to.

CHURCHILL

Neville is an old woman.

BALDWIN

That's the direction it's going, Winston. You're out of step.

CHURCHILL

We'll see who trips and falls.

BALDWIN

I've asked you here because you seem to be the only sensible member of the King's camp.

CHURCHILL

Nice of you to say, Stanley.

BALDWIN

Is he willing to be reasonable?

CHURCHILL

Depends on what's considered reasonable.

BALDWIN

Has he seen the light?

CHURCHILL

He has.

Our monarch basks in the luminescence of a celestial orb. Her name is 'Wally'.

They exit.

SCENE 11

Lionel's apartment.

Elizabeth waits in the parlour while Lionel works with Bertie in the study.

BERTIE

'Let's go gathering hearty heather with the gay brigade of grand dragoons.'

LIONEL

Here's another:

'She sifted seven thick-stalked thistles through strong thick sieves.'

25 times, in rapid succession.

BERTIE

You realize those are my hardest sounds?

LIONEL

Shall we make use of your good wife?

They join Elizabeth.

Nice of you to come.

ELIZABETH

What exactly is my function here?

LIONEL

To pitch in.

ELIZABETH

Oh, dear. I may not be the 'pitch in' type.

LIONEL

Piece of cake.

Opens window.

Your husband will shout the vowel sounds, all five of them, as loudly as possible.

ELIZABETH

No, he won't.

LIONEL

(ignoring her) Each to last no less than 15 seconds.

(to Bertie) There's poor coordination between larynx and diaphragm.

(to Elizabeth) You can be the official timer.

ELIZABETH

Vowel sounds? Shouted at an open window? On a public street?

LIONEL

Anyone who can stand vibrating loudly in full view of the world can learn to give a public speech.

ELIZABETH

They can also be considered quite dotty.

Bertie, don't even contemplate it!

BERTIE

Sorry, dear, doctor's orders.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

Bertie looks at Elizabeth expectantly.

She realizes, she hasn't been timing this, and quickly looks at her watch.

...aaaaaaaaa...

Elizabeth nods. Bertie moves on to...

Eeeeeeeeeeeeee.....

(Stops)

You' re right, my detectives on the street are staring up at me.

LIONEL

You're followed here?

BERTIE

Royal scrutiny, doctor, best get used to it.

LIONEL

Well, then, let's try something else.

Please assume a supine position on the floor.

ELIZABETH

On the floor?

LIONEL

Firm support is needed.

Bertie does as instructed.

Breathe deeply... expand your chest... now your stomach... deep into the diaphragm.

How do you feel?

BERTIE

Full of hot air.

LIONEL

Then you're well on your way to becoming a political speaker...

Again... and hold.

Now, Princess Elizabeth, be so kind as to sit on your husband's stomach.

ELIZABETH

Excuse me?

LIONEL

Gently, of course.

ELIZABETH

Good grief.

She gingerly sits on Bertie's stomach, asking solicitously

Are you alright, Bertie?

Bertie nods.

LIONEL

Now exhale slowly.... down goes Princess Elizabeth... inhale slowly... nothing rushed, expanding your chest fully, extending the column of air till it hits the diaphragm... and... up comes Princess Elizabeth.

Myrtle has entered quietly and watches in shock.

LIONEL

Exhale slowly.... down goes Princess Elizabeth... inhale... up comes Princess Elizabeth. You get the idea.

Doesn't have to be Princess Elizabeth, of course, but I thought you'd prefer your wife to one of the staff...

He realizes his wife has been watching

Myrtle, darling. Wasn't expecting you for hours.

I don't believe you've met their Royal Highnesses, the Duke and Duchess of York?

Elizabeth rises from her husband's stomach.

Bertie scrambles to his feet.

BERTIE

I must wash my hands. Would you show me the facilities?

LIONEL

Of course.

The two men beat a hasty retreat.

MYRTLE

Milady?

ELIZABETH

'Your Royal Highness', the first time. After that 'Ma'am'. Not Malm as in palm... Mam as in ham.

I'm informed your husband calls my husband Bertie, and my husband calls your husband Lionel I trust, however, you'll not call me Liz.

The men are listening at the door.

BERTIE

How are they getting on?

LIONEL

As to be expected

MYRTLE

In that case you may call me “Madam Logue“.

Stalemate.

BERTIE

We stay here, hiding?

LIONEL

I'm jolly well not going out there.

BERTIE

We're being cowards.

LIONEL

We're being sensible men.

BERTIE

You really should.

LIONEL

Me? YOU!

BERTIE

Why me?

LIONEL

You're the Royal.

BERTIE

Your castle. In you go.

Lionel goes back into the other room, Bertie follows.

LIONEL

Such a pleasant suprise, eh, Myrtle, dearest?

MYRTLE

Will the Yorks be staying for tea?

Lionel and Bertie are panic-stricken.

ELIZABETH

Such a pity, we have a previous engagement.

LIONEL

Some other time, love.

(to the Yorks) So glad you had a chance to meet Myrtle.

SCENE 12

Silence

LIONEL

You're not talking?

MYRTLE

You wish me to speak my mind? Fine. I arrive home to find a Royal Princess in my parlour.

LIONEL

A Duchess.

MYRTLE

Lionel, don't quibble!

LIONEL

What'd you think of her?

MYRTLE

Does it matter? She's a Princess, for God's sake! And he's the King's son!

LIONEL

The late King's son.

MYRTLE

Lionel! The King's brother! And I find them in my home!

LIONEL

Better than burglars. Why were you so early?

MYRTLE

Lionel...

LIONEL

They came for help.

MYRTLE

Who's helping us? What role are you auditioning for now? Royal saviour?

This'll bring you down, Lionel! You know it will.

LIONEL

When that poor chap first walked into my office, he was a slim, quiet man with tired eyes and all the signs of having given up hope. You saw him today.

MYRTLE

You're not listening to me!

She starts busying herself with household chores.

LIONEL

Myrtle, I love you.

MYRTLE

You say that, but you don't listen when I say, in so many ways, how desperately I want to go home. How I never, ever intended to stay and be treated as a second class citizen, a colonial..

We're not accepted here, Lionel, never will be. You know that. Always jokes about our 'funny accent'. Well mine. Not yours.

This was to be a holiday trip to see 'Mother England'. SO exciting, a grand adventure – I loved it. But what happened, Lionel? We went to Wembley Stadium. Next thing, you'd cashed in our tickets home.

(realization) Oh my God! He spoke that day!

LIONEL

You turned to me and said...

MYRTLE

'Lionel, you could help that poor man...'

LIONEL

'He's too old for me to manage a complete cure, but I could very nearly do it, I'm sure.'

MYRTLE

Is that why we stayed?

LIONEL

No. I wanted to act. But when he walked through my door . How could I say no?

MYRTLE

You couldn't tell your wife?

LIONEL

I knew you'd fret.

MYRTLE

For good reason. You kept it secret, Lionel, because if you were treating the Duke of York – I'd know you were never going home.

LIONEL

Imagine yourself as a child terrified of your own parents, because every time you speak you disappoint them. Teased. Unable to share a joke with friends. No friends, actually. Unable to answer in class, so you're considered dim and ranked last. Trapped in a body that refuses to obey your commands.

Myrtle, let me do what I can.

Then...

Silence

MYRTLE

Then what, Lionel?

LIONEL

Home.

MYRTLE

(after a pause) Very well, Lionel. I will, as always, be supportive of your endeavours.

LIONEL

I don't deserve a wonderful woman like you.

MYRTLE

How right you are.

LIONEL

But – why did you come home so early?

MYRTLE

I was let go.

Inquiries were made. Scotland Yard.

LIONEL

What???

MYRTLE

Asking what sort of person I was. I warned you this would happen! When they left, Mr. Falkoff said he couldn't afford this sort of thing going on in his store, bad for business. He was frightened, Lionel. Can't blame him. I'm frightened, too.

They exit.

SCENE 13

Coronation Committee Conference room.

The audience is the committee.

DAVID

All gathered? Ready to discuss my coronation? Be with you shortly.

(goes over to Bertie) Hear you're taking elocution lessons, lad.

BERTIE

Pardon?

DAVID

Diction. Speechifying. That's the 'scoop' around town. Smashing American expression.

BERTIE

Trying to overcome my terrible impediment...

DAVID

(overriding) I'm the brother who speaks. Or do you wish to shoulder that task?

BERTIE

Good Lord, no! I merely hope to...

DAVID

Replace me? Young brother trying to push older brother off throne...

Positively medieval.

He thrusts a document into Bertie's hands.

DAVID

You may read the Coronation Plans to the Committee.

BERTIE

(whispers urgently) I'm not prepared!

DAVID

(whispers back)  As a boy scout – and you are one, aren't you? Very much a boy scout – you must always be prepared.

Make sure it's nice and loud, so everyone can hear.

In terror, Bertie turns to the audience.

BERTIE

I – uh – I – uhm - I thu-thu-think we should tu-tu-tu-table the document.

He tries to hand it back to David, but he doesn't take it.

DAVID

Be sure to tell them how Mrs. Simpson is to be accommodated in a special alcove above the altar.

See you at Balmoral this weekend, Buh-buh-Bertie.

David exits.

Bertie stands frozen while the set changes.

SCENE 14

Lionel's study.

Bertie stands as before, Lionel approaches.

LIONEL

You could have said no.

BERTIE

I couldn't say anything.

LIONEL

You seldom stammer with me any more.

BERTIE

Because you're paid to listen!

LIONEL

Like a geisha girl?

Know any rude words?

BERTIE

What a bloody stupid question!

There – I just said one: 'Bloody'.

Bloodybloodybloody!

LIONEL

Perhaps something a touch more vulgar?

BERTIE

Certainly not.

LIONEL

To prove you know how.

BERTIE

I know how. Bugger!

LIONEL

A public school prig could do better than you.

BERTIE

Well, bloody bugger to you, you beastly bastard!

LIONEL

Perhaps you're trying too hard.

BERTIE

Shit then. Shit, shit, shit!

LIONEL

Ah! See how defecation flows trippingly from the tongue? You don't stammer when you swear.

BERTIE

Because I'm angry!

LIONEL

You should get angry more often.

Do you know the f-word?

BERTIE

Fornication?

(at Lionel's mocking look) Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

LIONEL

Bravissimo! Now a resounding chorus of...

BERTIE

Bloody, bloody, bloody!

Shit, shit, shit!

Bugger, bugger, bugger!

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

A pounding on the wall.

(whispers) This is your fault!

LIONEL

Sorry, pet! Won't happen again!

MYRTLE

(offstage) I should hope not!

BERTIE

(laughing) Apologies, Mrs. Logue.

LIONEL

First time I've heard you laugh.

BERTIE

Royals aren't allowed. No emotions. Not in public.

Lionel doesn't react.

What do you want me to do? Stage my next public appearance as an obscene operetta?

LIONEL

Your next public appearance will be well rehearsed. You could be as good as David.

Lionel reaches out to give Bertie a supportive pat on the shoulder.

Bertie pulls back in offended shock. All the warning signals installed in him go off.

BERTIE

Don't take liberties!

LIONEL

I just think you could be even better than David.

BERTIE

Don't say such a thing. I've heard the whisperings of the lurking shadows. Courtiers and peers – the whole panoply of a class which once ruled the nation. Which once ruled the world! Afraid of losing their last vestige of privilege if the monarchy is further debased. They'd throw me to the wolves if they thought it would save their skins.

LIONEL

Your wife sought me out.

BERTIE

Because, poor deluded woman, she believes in me.

LIONEL

If you don't share that belief why come here?

BERTIE

I ask myself that very question. Don't push me, Doctor Logue.

LIONEL

Lionel.

BERTIE

I came here because I was taught from childhood to serve a purpose, and that purpose is to serve. Duty is our sole justification for  privilege. I was under the illusion you might help me perform that function.

LIONEL

They say a King can do no wrong.

BERTIE

He can bugger things up! And I am not the King. I'll do anything within my grasp to keep my brother on the throne.

LIONEL

Does that include debasing yourself?

BERTIE

If necessary!

LIONEL

Your brother knew by giving you a document without warning...

BERTIE

Are you saying he wanted me to fail?

LIONEL

Are you insisting he didn't? In the future, we can parse any speech into manageable phrases. You can sing them, swear them, and rehearse them until you get the rhythm and flow. That, combined with your growing confidence...

BERTIE

Growing confidence? Growing dread! You're a wicked man, Logue, you're trying to get me to thrust myself forward as an alternative to my brother.

LIONEL

No!

BERTIE

Trying to get me to commit treason!

LIONEL

Trying to get you to realize you need not be governed by fear. If necessary, you could be King.

BERTIE

That's bordering on treason!

LIONEL

I'm just saying you COULD be King.

BERTIE

That IS treason! I've had enough!

LIONEL

What are you afraid of?

BERTIE

Your poisonous words!

LIONEL

Why'd you show up then? To take polite elocution lessons so you can chit-chat at posh tea parties?

BERTIE

How dare you!

I'm the brother of a King – the son of a King.

You presume to instruct me how to behave? A jumped-up jackeroo from the outback? The disappointing son of an embittered brewer! You're a monster, Doctor Logue.

And these sessions are over!

He storms off.

Lights

CURTAIN.

INTERMISSION

SCENE 15

House lights dim.

Ballroom, Balmoral.

Offstage jazz is heard.

David and Wallis Simpson are dancing, both dressed to the t's.

Churchill and the Archbishop are off to one side.

CHURCHILL

Five hundred year old oaks! And the hill they stand on. Removed to improve the view!!

LANG

However does she do it?

CHURCHILL

Erotic sexual techniques. Learned in Shanghai.

LANG

You've the devil in you today, Winston.

CHURCHILL

If anyone should know about that, it would be you, Your Grace.

LANG

Did you know His Majesty has trouble with his glands?

CHURCHILL

I'd not appreciated Your Grace was so well versed concerning things testicular.

LANG

I shepherd my flock in all matters, Winston, including multiplication. The Royal genitalia were severely damaged by the measles. Apparently, it affects the quality, although not the quantity of HM's endeavours.

Bertie and Elizabeth have entered.

BERTIE

We must try to be pleasant.

ELIZABETH

Your father not dead six months, and That Woman throws ' A house potty'. P-O-T-T-Y. She's sleeping in your mother's bedroom. And I know perfectly well, she calls me 'the Dowdy Duchess', and 'the Fat Scottish Cook'.

BERTIE

Don't know why. You seldom cook.

They share a laugh.

CHURCHILL

Has it occurred to you, as it has just occurred to me, that a Monarch with a gland problem, who realizes he cannot produce issue, might not wish to be King...? Knowing his lack of issue may well become a major issue indeed..

LANG

A dazzling concept... beautifully phrased.

FOOTMAN

Their Royal Highnesses the Duke and Duchess of York.

Wallis sweeps forward to greet them, Elizabeth sails past, announcing

ELIZABETH

I came at the invitation of the King.

David bows formally, Elizabeth curtsies in return. Wallis returns to David.

WALLIS

Did you see that woman ignoring me? She snubbed me in front of everybody when I am hosting this party!

DAVID

Who did?

WALLIS

That fat Scottish cook. Your sister in law. I don't believe this! What are you going to do? David, you can't let her get away with that!

DAVID

Darling, don't let her get to you. She'll sing a different tune once we're married and you are the Queen, I can assure you.

WALLIS

Yeah, if I'm ever going to be queen. So you're not going to confront her? Great. Well, if you're not going to defend my honour, at least get me another glass of champagne.

DAVID

(looking around) There should be someone with a whole tray of champagne somewhere.

WALLIS

Is it too much to ask you to find me a glass of champagne? When I've just been insulted by your family? Really, David, sometimes I wonder why I even bother.

DAVID

I am on my way to get you what you desire, my darling.

He exits.

LANG

It's not just because she's American. Your mother was American.

According to a church member, highly ranked in Scotland Yard, His Majesty does not possess exclusive rights to Mrs. Simpson's sexual favours, sharing them with a married used car salesman, a certain Mr. Guy Trundle, as well as the Duke of Leinster.

CHURCHILL

One of David's closest companions!?

LANG

Closer than he suspects. In addition, and this is more serious, Hitler's

ambassador, Count von Ribbentrop, sends her 17 carnations every day … one for each time they've slept together.

CHURCHILL

Good Lord, we must see to it this Empress of the Night does not become Queen of England!

LANG

Vividly put.

Churchill has spotted Elizabeth standing alone.

CHURCHILL

Allow me to test new waters.

He crosses to Elizabeth.

ELIZABETH

Winston, I needn't be told I behaved badly.

CHURCHILL

On the contrary, Ma'am. Court etiquette decrees royalty must be greeted by the official host. In this case: the King. You behaved impeccably. As always.

(referring to a painting) A relative?

ELIZABETH

Distant.

CHURCHILL

(referring to the painting) You're aware, of course, the wife of George IV, Mrs. Fitzherbert, was very common indeed... and previously married. She signed an agreement that she could never become queen, and their children could not be royal.

 A most sensible morganatic arrangement.

ELIZABETH

That was a very, very long time ago, and you're stirring with a rather large spoon. Keep in mind, I'm also a distant relative of Lady Macbeth.

CHURCHILL

I would disremember at my peril.

He exits, as David enters, struggling to open a champagne bottle, followed by Bertie, determined to catch up.

BERTIE

David...

DAVID

(affecting an American accent) Wally wants more champagne. I have to fetch it. She prefers that.

BERTIE

Been trying to see you...

DAVID

Been terribly busy.

BERTIE

Doing what?

DAVID

Kinging.

BERTIE

Where did you get that American accent?

David.... Father's not dead six months, yet you've put Mrs. Simpson in the suite used by our mother?

DAVID

Mama's not still in the bed, is she?

BERTIE

That isn't funny!

DAVID

Sssssssorry, d-d-d-dear boy!

BERTIE

Please. No more of that.

A moment of silence, then David backs down, sort of.

DAVID

Didn't realize you cared.

BERTIE

This could end in disaster.

DAVID

This will end splendidly. With Wallis as my wife.

BERTIE

David! She's already Ernest Simpson's wife!

DAVID

Not much longer. “The Unimportance of Being Ernest“

BERTIE

DIVORCE?!

DAVID

Thought you'd been told. Over-sight. Soon she'll be free  - and Kings do marry.

BERTIE

Not a double divorcee.

DAVID

Haven't I any rights?

BERTIE

Many privileges...

DAVID

Not the same thing. Your beloved Common Man may marry for love. Why not me?

BERTIE

If you were the Common Man, on what basis could you possibly claim to be King?

DAVID

Sounds like you've studied out wretched constitution.

BERTIE

Sounds like you haven't.

DAVID

Don't be dreary. What's the point of being King if you can't have your way?

BERTIE

Whatever will she call herself?

DAVID

Queen of England, I suspect. Empress of India. The whole bag of tricks.

BERTIE

David! The upper classes are terrified anything which clouds the monarchy makes their situation more dangerous. Hunger marchers are singing the 'Red Flag' in front of Westminster... demanding a republic...

DAVID

Herr Hitler could sort that lot out.

BERTIE

Who'd sort out Hitler?

DAVID

He's much maligned. By the Jews, according to Wallis. And she's awfully clever about politics.

BERTIE

David, we're a German family. We must distance ourselves from this monster!

DAVID

Don't be so predictable. The German people are far better off under Hitler. No Jews, no Communists. That's why everyone backs down when it comes to the Führer. Just as everyone will back down concerning Wally and myself. It's an act of will, Wallis says. You'll see, it'll be a ducky Coronation.

(spots Wallis)

There she is. Isn't she wonderful?

He strides off to join her, leaving Bertie to rally distraught..

SCENE 16

At the Logues'.

MYRTLE

How'd it go this time, Lionel?

Lionel takes two small folders from his jacket pocket and hands them to her,

she looks at them.

MYRTLE

Tickets??? HOME????

LIONEL

First class.

Nothing to keep me here now.

Pause.

MYRTLE

What about your other clients?

LIONEL

They can be referred.

MYRTLE

What'll you do when we get home

LIONEL

Try not to act the toff. Teach perhaps.

MYRTLE

You could still act.

LIONEL

Good enough for Perth, but not the UK?

MYRTLE

You gave it a try, Lionel.

LIONEL

Yes, I had a go. Thanks to your patience.

I just bloody well wasn't good enough.

MYRTLE

(studying the tickets) Oh, Lionel, this must've cost you.

SCENE 17

Baldwin and Bertie at Downing Street.

BALDWIN

Your brother's scandal has weakened my position considerably. I intend to resign in the near future.

BERTIE

I'm truly sorry.

BALDWIN

I don't think David is. Neville Chamberlain will take my place.

But if your brother continues to ignore the advice of His Government, Chamberlain, too, will have no choice but to resign. Labour has, quite decently, pledged not to step into the breach.

(pause)

That leaves Churchill.

BERTIE

Would he?

BALDWIN

He might.

BERTIE

Surely his proposal of a morganatic marriage could prevent this entire catastrophe from happening?

BALDWIN

His suggestion has been put to the Dominion Prime Ministers. After all, His Majesty is their King too.

BERTIE

And?

BALDWIN

Australia: 'No'. When informed, your brother felt there weren't enough people in Australia to worry about.

Canada: negative.

Union of South Africa: 'an inappropriate marriage would create a permanent wound'

The Irish Free State: states it is not really their affair, and, bluntly, our English King may marry any whore he wishes. Your brother's comment was: “Bloody Irish.“

New Zealand – New Zealand wavers.

BERTIE

Good old Kiwis!

BALDWIN

Being remote, they've not heard of Mrs. Simpson and wonder who she might be. Hardly a winning hand...

BERTIE

Can't they understand? He's in love...

BALDWIN

This is not about love. This is about who's in charge. Does the King do what he wants, or does he do what his people expect him to do? Does a King own his nation, or does the nation own their Monarch?

BERTIE

(heart-broken) He won't budge.

BALDWIN

Nor will we.

SCENE 18

York House, night.

Churchill is inspecting a newly built air plane model.

Bertie enters.

CHURCHILL

Maybe a battleship next? We'll need them.

Good of you to see me at this hour.

(takes a note from his pocket) David's message to the Nation: 'I am now free to tell you how I was jockeyed out of the throne.'

BERTIE

Good Lord! My brother wrote that?

CHURCHILL

Wallis wrote it for him. I'll burn it.

I fear your brother is like the child in a fairy story, granted everything by the Gods, but they forgot his soul.

BERTIE

I thought you were in his camp?

CHURCHILL

I was. Till I realized he was quite willing to bring his nation to the brink of civil war just as we face global conflict.

BERTIE

We're not coming to that, are we?

CHURCHILL

Oh, there will be war alright.

(takes out another piece of paper) Your brother has held conversations with your cousin, the Duke of Saxe-Coburg, a ranking member of the Nazi party. I have here the Scotland Yard intercept: 'Who is King here? Baldwin or I? I myself wish to talk with Hitler, and will do so, here or in Germany.'

I doubt England is ready to return to absolute monarchy.

BERTIE

Surely his motives are misunderstood?

CHURCHILL

Here's what he has to say on the subject: 'If I don't get my way, when the war comes, Hitler will crush everyone, including the Americans. The British may not want me as their King, but I'll soon be back as their leader.' Which is the English word for Führer.

His intent seems clear.

BERTIE

I beg you, don't take him seriously! You know better than others, that changing horses in midstream is a perilous manoeuvrer!

CHURCHILL

Depends on how badly the horse you're on stumbles. Mugs for his cancelled coronation will soon be on clearance sale for tuppence.

BERTIE

Winston, it's not too late, you could form a government on his behalf.

CHURCHILL

Could.

(beat)

I'd like to.

(beat)

But I must decline, reluctantly.

(starts to go, then turns turns around)

I've written a new speech for him.

BERTIE

I don't want to hear it. Ever!

CHURCHILL

It has a rather nice turn of phrase.

Churchill reads the speech

SCENE 19

Lionel and Myrtle are packing.

The radio is on.

They stop when this announcement comes on.

DAVID

(radio)

'I have found it impossible to carry the heavy burden of responsibility and to discharge my duties as King as I would wish to do without the help and support of the woman I love.'

LIONEL

I, too, 'married the woman I love'.

MYRTLE

You married a shop girl. I'm very ordinary.

LIONEL

That's why we're suited. I'm just an ordinary bloke.

MYRTLE

Lionel, you're a man with big dreams. Mine are so very small. A job, a home. That's all I've ever wanted.

LIONEL

Me too.

MYRTLE

Is that why, every day, you've spent hours with a man who's about to become King?

LIONEL

That relationship is now past tense.

MYRTLE

Yet that's what you wanted.

LIONEL

I wanted to be a great actor. That's what I really wanted.

MYRTLE

And failing that...

LIONEL

I certainly failed!

MYRTLE

A great healer? Always 'great'... where does a shop girl fit in?

LIONEL

Very snugly, into my heart. Always have, always will.

MYRTLE

Trouble is, Lionel, when you say that, I still believe it.

LIONEL

We'll be happy back at home. I'm sure we will.

SCENE 20

Accession Council.

Bertie in full State Regalia addresses the audience directly.

All symptoms of his stutter are on full display. It is a terrible performance.

BERTIE

My Lords, members of the Accession Council, I meet you today in circumstances which are without parallel in the history of our country. With my wife and helpmeet by my side, I hope that time will be allowed me to make amends for what has happened.

SCENE 21

York House.

Bertie is in the process of taking off his fancy clothes while talking to  Elizabeth

BERTIE

I don't want to lose you.

ELIZABETH

How could you possibly?

BERTIE

By becoming what we both dread most.

ELIZABETH

Dear, dear man. I refused your first two marriage proposals because, as much as I loved you, I couldn't abide the thought of living in the Royal gilded cage. Then I realized... you stuttered so beautifully... they'd leave you alone.

BERTIE

I won because I stuttered?

ELIZABETH

If I must be Queen, I will try to be a good Queen. The wife of a very great King indeed.

(beat) You know what you must do.

They exit.

SCENE 22

Lionel is still packing.

The doorbell rings.

LIONEL

(annoyed) No appointments today! Bugger off!

Door opens, Bertie enters.

The two stare at each other.

Mr. Johnson, is it?

BERTIE

Want me to beg?

LIONEL

I told you: Kings don't beg.

BERTIE

I believe this time a bit of grovelling might be required.

(gathering resolve) I was frightened and took refuge in being 'Royal'.

What I said was unforgivable. And...

LIONEL

And -?

BERTIE

(blurts out) What's the one essential thing a King must do? He must believe he is King. How can I possibly do that? For pity's sake, Lionel, I beg you: get me through.

I'll pay you another shilling.

LIONEL

What are friends for?

BERTIE

I wouldn't know

He bows and exits.

 Lionel joins Myrtle who is still packing.

MYRTLE

I got most of it sorted.

She realizes something is off and turns around.

She knows immediately what Lionel is going to tell her.

It silences her.

LIONEL

He asked me.

MYRTLE

(beat, softly) So did I.

LIONEL

He's the King.

MYRTLE

I know who he is.

(beat)

Does he know who I am? Do you?

(beat)

You're the King's speech therapist now. That's a job for life. We'll never go home.

LIONEL

When I'm with you, I'm home.

(beat)

I know what I'm asking. Please, Myrtle, make your home with me.

He embraces her. She yields.

SCENE 23

Westminster Abbey.

The chair of Edward the Confessor.

The Archbishop and Churchill are celebrating their success.

CHURCHILL

To our new King!

LANG

Let's sincerely hope.

CHURCHILL

Can a pause be slightly pregnant?

LANG